OPEN MIC ARCHIVES
June 15, 1999

Another Mother's Love

I wonder why she loved me so, Another mother's love

She helped me lose my sorrow, Another mother's love

So strong and stern, Another mother's love

Reaching out like a fern, Another mother's love

Three is a lot for, Another mother's love

Still enough for one more, Another mother's love

My heart felt, Another mother's love

Time shortly dealt, Another mother's love

Forever I will remember, Another mother's love

Now times given, Another father's love

by Reginald D. Houston

Dedicated to Brigitte Buenger

------------------------------------------

Everyday
Kelli Ann Leach

I'm so sorry we don't get along mama

Because of all the things I've done

I wish I could take them back

Even though I had fun

I've caused you too much hurt

Especially between you and Dad,

I remember the night he hit you

I had never wanted it to be this bad

I wish I could tell you all

The stories and the lies

I hate to see more tears

From when I make you cry

But even if I tried

You'd only hate more

Than understanding why I cry

You tell me I'm a whore

I've made so many mistakes

I wish I had you there

To talk to me when I would decide

I don't think you would have cared

Because if you really did care

You'd come to me with love

But instead you come with anger

And say you were always here

You're so hard to talk to

I wish I had tried

Because maybe then I wouldn't have

Thought I always have to lie

It's too late today

I can't change the past

The future is gone

For us to try again

I love you as my mother

Because you gave birth to me

But know I'm no longer your daughter

You say so willingly

You hate me and do not love me

I sorry it had to be this way

If only I could have talked to you

When I needed you everyday

------------------------------------------

summer

there's something about summer

the way the crickets sing

and the smoke

the way it dances

careening towards the stars

so alone

a small breeze dances through the trees

one street-lamp

bathes the darkness in gold

there's something about summer

the waves play the violins of moonlight

an unheard symphony of sadness

so alone

so alone

so alive

------------------------------------

FOR GRAMPA

I wish that you would get well,

I wish I could be with you when you're going through hell.

I can't imagine life without you,

You were my strength, my teacher, and you were always true.

I remember the butterfly and Eskimo kisses you gave,

Those memories I will always save.

The little things you did I took for granted,

Inside of me a growing love you planted.

The little things you did to make me laugh,

Now our time together is cut in half.

I wanted my children to know what I had,

I wanted them to laugh with their great-granddad.

I don't want you to leave me,

A world without you would seem so cold.

I miss your smile, your laugh, precious things that can't be sold.

I wish I could sit on you lap again,

I remember I used to hid your "do-hickie" until you tickled it out of me to tell you where it was hid,

You told me you loved to have me as your grandkid.

I want you to come back, to spring back to life,

I wanted you to see me become a wife.

I love you, I miss you but I know you're in a better place now.

I guess for now all I can say is I'll see you when I get there.

----------------------------

In Memory of the Medflight Crew that

perished in the line of duty on

December 1st, 1994.

Richard Elliott

Jan Nowacki-Tobin, R.N.

Terry Racicot, D.O.

Whose spirit and devotion,

that was hope born on wings,

still live in our memories,

deeds and selfless offerings.

DGE

------------------------------

Following

It's time to go on. To enter the forest and dream again

Of reciprocal things and better men.

Time to leave our meetings up to chance

And smile on the soil of your irrelevance.

I'll need to be crafty. To the acres of green I gift my heart

Lest you find it lying, quietly apart.

And I cloak my body with cheer and stealth-

I'll walk light and lose you I tell myself.

I will run fast and far. To forget your taste and your melting stare,

Forget that you smiled in the scent of my hair.

I will run until I can no longer see

Your haunting face peering dark through the trees..

I will change direction. But you follow under canopy's gloom,

As if I'm a child slow chased by the moon.

I feel you watch me from deep in the wood,

Rustling the leaves of my womanhood.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Greedy Little Politician

Greedy little politician--

just wanting all our votes.

Going crazy every minute,

as he scribbles messy notes.

Greedy little politician--

taking all our money.

Kissing babies, shaking hands,

and thinking it quite funny.

Greedy little politician--

living like a king.

Saying that he's here to help us,

that's not how it seems.

Greedy little politician--

that's become so paranoid.

We'll remember next election,

that your name we should avoid.

Greedy little politician---

why are you not hailed?

Cause we lost all trust in you,

the day you went to jail.

---------------------------------------

JASON
Rod Stoner

I look into your day old eyes

And I wonder

Is there something precious there

Destined to be lost

If I wanted to be truly wise

I would crawl inside those eyes

And unlearn everything I've been taught

Your journey begins today

It will take you a long, long, way

Ticket, boarding pass

Destination unknown

Where you travel is up to you

But know before you do

God created this entire world

To be your home

-----------------------------

Revealed

Days are gone in the quest of time

And seen are the glories of thought

For the world is a place of much wisdom

And the destiny is the ending of each day

For what tomorrow shall bring is mystery

And today is the space of time taken

For all my dreams are yet to be revealed

----------------------------------------------

"There's magic in his hands" Cried the Raven through the mist

He grasped the dagger in his hand and closed it in a fist

"I have grown full though not as others,

I've forgotten all my dearest brothers,

So today I make a stand."

He released the dagger from his hand

Blood sprang forth from in his chest

"I think this way would be the best"

He'd made it so it'd not be botched

And all this happened as the raven watched.

------------------------------------------

Thoughts stumble on open minds,

like dancing horses so full of pride;

Angry lips, began to cry,

frowning, withering, and trembling;

PRIDE OF LIFE!!!
By Anthony Rivas

Minds are free,

Bodies trapped,

So full of pain,

Thoughts relapse,

Like flightless birds,

who always try;

like dancing horses so full of pride.

we walk through life,

on our anxious path,

DEMONS,

ANGELS,

start to laugh.

Ears are clouded to delight,

hearts ache, dark as night.

Arms stretched out towards the end.

Bodies stoic in our place,

Anger hides,

childish fear,

Tearful eyes;

Like dancing horses so full of pride!

-----------------------

Riding down the road on my bike,

I stopped at the local porn shop.

Inside

everyone smiled and nodded hello.

Coincidentally, I ran into my

third grade penmanship teacher.

She was getting the newest Tricia Yen

flick so she could get her groove on with

The Captain.

I told her that I got my Masters in Education.

She smiled that sweet innocent smile that

radiates of fresh baked cookies and cold milk.

Then she asked me what I was doing there.

"What's is it night sonny? Fish or fist?"

I related to her that my girlfriend works

in the peep show booths in the back.

She told me a story about when she used to

FAN DANCE

at the local water cooler back in Texas.

She got out of the business when they asked her

to do a Godiva bit on a mechanical bull they bought.

"I see," I said.

--------------------------------------

sometimes i wonder why i twist my mind so

i can't imagine living my life though

without ever asking "Why am I here?"

I feel as though I am clear

cut off as if by the flip of a switch

erased, eternally lost, nothing left to grip

but the air that swims about my soul

vacuous unforgiving and cold

change my mind, help me find

a place where i can live and thrive

sitting alone in my room

tired and worthless, in the womb

of my warm and careful bed

i cannot walk on water, so i must tread instead

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm Trying to Think
S.J.Luc

Today we sit and wonder

What yesterday we did

Was it important

Did I eat or drink

Did I sleep or think

I don't remember

Was it important

I dream...

Of something good

Of far away places

Where I'd like to be

Will I get there

We'll see

If I could only remember

What I'm doing

What I'm thinking

I don't remember

Don't ask me to explain

Don't ask me questions

Don't bother me

Can't you see

I'm trying to think

-------------------------

She is there, somewhere!

In a house I sit with only walls do I see,

Wishing that one day, a woman too will be with me.

The night glistening with stars oh so bright,

A woman to hold, to kiss, and to be with all night.

The sky so dark nothing you can see,

I want a woman to fill me with oh so much glee.

The grass green, the trees tall, and the flowers start to bloom,

Is there a woman to fill that void in my heart, to fill all that room?

Day after day, it sure does seem,

That maybe the next day, I will find the woman in my dream.

Till that day comes, I will sit here and stare,

Thinking about her, and why it is not fair.

For I too, need someone to kiss and someone to hold,

And for someone to be with until we are old.

That day will come, I do believe,

And on that day, love I will receive.

-------------------------------------

TIPPACANOE... (On remembering a childhood vacation)
BY BARBARA ELAINE ALYEA

I'm going down to Tippacanoe,,,do you wanna come too?

Going down to the cabins there,,, just like Mom and Dad did with hardly a care.

'Member how we saw the horses and cows, and climbed all the monkey trees and boughs. Got a nickle or dime for every squirrel we spotted, ate hotdogs and marshmallows till our stomachs rotted. We ran down the stream and watched the Scout boats, imagined water monsters when we saw the logs float.

Yeah, I'm going down to the Tippacanoe, yeah, I wanna go, do you?

I ain't been in twenty years, every summer I think for all those years.

I wanted to go, but not alone, who was it that said, "you can't go home?"

It wouldn't be the same, unless they all came, and, well, now, it's a different game. All the cabins are gone, and you have to camp, sleep on the ground and in the tent, and everything you need you have to rent. Well, I wanna go down to Tippacanoe, well, before my life is through, I wanna go down to Tippacanoe, do you?????

------------------------------

Left my cloud curious of what goes on down there

tempted by temptation or thoughts which remain unjust

can't break free my minds locked in a spell

clouded by sin can't find my shroud or my cloud

am I dreaming or is this the scheme luring me into this abyss

full of so much freedom to imprison me with

trying to break the spirit of a spiritual being

easily done when this world is all one believes in

where love is nothing but a physical thing

and hate penetrates every living being

kill the spirit and give up your soul

there's nothing after death is what we're told

too many realities this plague called life has got me losing touch

how can I hate this world and love it so much

this confusion's got me fixing to bust

waiting impatiently for this flesh to return to dust

so I can be set free, cuz there's no breaking out

I made the choice to see what all the fuss was about

--------------------------------------------

Dreamer
Karley Ahlers

Some people say that I'm a dreamer,

Including myself,

One who dreams not of material things,

Not of fame, or well being, or wealth.

But one who dreams of what can be,

Of all the things that i can feel,

Like love, passion, happiness, and romance;

Things one can never steal.

The reason that I can dream for these

is that they never happen to me.

It seems that everywhere I look

It's only pain I see.

"You're just so sweet," is all I ever hear

"But I'd rather just be friends"

When I dream a single tear,

Rolls off my chin's end.

--------------------------------

face your autumn with indifference

may it burn as bright as sunlight

and bring fire to the trees

-------------------------------

sometimes

sometimes shadows dance

in the sunshine of a new moon

they melt inside each other

inside the gloomy summer

find a fold where no one goes

something they can hold

and dream there

sometimes shadows move

in faded evening breeze

entwined in silent trees

whispers spill across their lips

magic falls from their fingertips

and love is born in a quiet place

and sometimes shadows dance......

--------------------------------

CLOUDS

Sunset

and I can feel it all.

red I awake and

glide over the

sphere of time

blue I rise up

and chase dreams

in vain

grey the ultimate defense,

the eternal disguise

of indifference

and the clouds,

the clouds I hide behind

and someday I will find a way

to shed these shields

and fly away without pain.

-----------------------------------

I. M. C.

in my country there's brotherly love,

with a twist of hatred.

in my country there's starving among the masses,

for food and leadership.

in my country there's war, destruction and blood,

for less than the cost of a cigarette.

in my country those who have the money

have the power.

in my country they see not the harshness

nor do they see the pain of starving children.

in my country i can vote,

but have no say.

in my country,

my U.S.A.

-------------------------------

How to Pick a Fight in Canada

If I don't watch hockey, am I still I a man?

A country drunk on hockey sweat doesn't think I am.

If I won't watch hockey, will I go to hell?

The way that I regard it, it might be just as well.

If Hockey Night in Canada is foreign film to me,

they'd have you think that I'm an agent of misanthropy.

"Bobby Orr and Gordie Howe're anchors in our land!"

Ha! Beer and ice and pucks and fools with weapons in their hands!

Then if I use the language, to a good extent,

People call me upside-down and half a deal spent.

So I sit here quietly and keep my thoughts to me:

is Canada's identity refined to 'Le Hockey'

---------------------------

I Lay a Trap to Catch Happiness In

I wove the mat so tight and pure

with warp of smile and weft of victory

and with white-fisted terror

I lay it over my gaping chasm.

So exactly did it fit

so perfectly it lay

that I forgot it and I thought it real

and Trapped myself instead.

----------------------------------

THE QUIETUS OF A DOE
by Bonnie Dale

Her breath grows shallower as she inhales

Perspiration rolls silently over her body

Stinging the wound on her side as she struggles

to exist

Gradually her sides cease to heave

Her head drops, resting upon dew veiled grass,

like a wilted flower

Blood, like saliva trickles from her parched lips

As her almond shaped eyes, full of wisdom, close

in death

----------------------------------

A SPECK OF DIRT IN THE DESERT

I still remain a nothing,

there are many just as me.

But can I be a something?

Or a speck will I just be?

If I were to do extraordinary things

that will take you by surprise.

and to be so different as the speck of dirt in the sand,

will that then raise your eye?

What is it that I have to do

to make myself so visible?

Do I have to impress with my mind,

or prove my strength so physical?

Oh, now I understand the game

that everyone plays at hand.

Create and seek to be unique

and go according to plan.

Now people can distinguish my speck up in the sand.

-Joe Sewell-

---------------------------------

ALONE BY THE WELL

The well is dry

No longer can I wish upon it.

Casting dreams to its depths

Summon echoes of uncertainty

I stand nearby,

My pockets filled with coins

I am hopeful

Knowing that the rains will come

---------------------------------

YOU DON'T KNOW.

You don't know

what it is like

real wondering if you will survive the day.

You don't know

how it feels

when people all around you are dying or dead.

The smells of their carcasses.

The sounds of them yelling, moaning, crying.

The sight of blood everywhere.

You don't know.

You don't know.

*in memory of the people in Kosovo

-----------------------------

TAKE MY HAND, BLACK MAN

I know and accept you

for who you are

For you are the Sole Creators

of the sun, the moon, and the stars.

You have been in existence for trillions of years

You have built this world and worlds before

through blood, sweat and tears.

I know why you act like and

say the things you do.

It's because you have carried the weight

of the world on your shoulders

Yet, they have failed to acknowledge you.

Take my hand, Black Man

I have walked in front of you, beside you,

and behind you- to insure the success

of all your hopes, your dreams,

and your creative styles.

So I say to you, Again

TAKE MY HAND BLACK MAN.

TOGETHER WE CAN WALK

THAT EXTRA MILE

--------------------------------------------

PROUD TO BE BLACK

One time in our lives, we were given no rights

Until the day Martin Luther King turned on the lights

Many thanks to the man, who opened the worlds eyes

Our faith will be strong, one that never dies

We can stand yp tall and be proud to be black

From this day forward we will never look back

Now is te time to show ourselves and all the rest

You are black, you are better, you are the best

The road may be hard but stay on the right track

Show the world you are proud to be black

Don't let anyone or anything get in your way

Because you know there will come a brighter day

Go out into the world, yes, set your goals high

Show everyone you're smart, let the know why

Reach for the sky, remember there is no limit

Don't hold yourself back, don't be at all timid

Always remember who you are, you will go far

You will shine brighter, you know you're a star

Your journey has begun, so get your bags packed

And don't ever forget how proud you are to be black

--------------------------------------------------

I'm not going to beg.

I'm not going to kick and scream.

I'm caught in your deceiving scheme.

It feels like I'm stuck in a never-ending dream, getting tangled in the webs of your nind that are so hard to find.

I can't move an inch; I've fallen into your trap.

I'm stuck in that big gap of nothingness that's got me so low, it's hard to get out andit's hard to let go.

I can't deal with you right now.

I can't deal with myself right now.

I need to get out and find something else to revolve my life around. I need to try and put both feet firmly on the ground.

But right now I'm tangled up, caught by the slowly falling webs in your mind.

I can't beg and I can't kick and scream.

You've got me so tangled up you've suffocated my dreams.

--------------------------------

Why?

Why did you do this all over again?

Ending our 'thing' when it started to begin?

You told me some lies, which I thought were true

But, baby, you're a liar too.

I thought you changed, I really did

But you're still the same immature kid.

You need to grow up and have more respect

For others and yourself, more or less.

Get out of your dream and come back to earth

You're no longer a child, this isn't birth.

Stand up and realize who you really are

You're not who you think, by far.

And until your dying day,

You'll always be a male cliché.

------------------------------------

Failure to Communicate
S. Anderson

I'm finally free, free to roam a prison.

I can use expressions of love, but not make them truly believe them.

I need to play off society's symbols to satisfy others,

but that leaves me feeling more trapped than

I feel good about my successful goal.

I need others to accept me before they can believe what it is I'm saying...

I just wish they didn't feel the same way...

----------------------------

Whenever you get over it...

Then you will realize.

Whenever you get past yourself...

Then you will think of others.

Whenever you remember me...

Then you will regret what you did.

Whenever you miss me...

Then I won't be there for you.

Whenever you finally talk to me...

Then I will finally tell you.

Whenever you decide to listen...

Then you will find out...

I don't love you anymore

--------------------------------------

If words were music,

What would poetry sound like?

What harmony would arise from my love,

Or disharmony,

For my ill-wishings?

If words were music,

I would never be misunderstood.

-----------------------------------

Once Upon A Dream

once upon a dream....

i believed in love & all it had to offer

even more, what i had to gain from it:

the majestic beauty of tenderness

the gentleness of a kind & caring hand

the warmth of a lover's embrace

i believed with all my heart

in my dreams it was all possible

and once upon a dream

we walked hand & hand

near the ocean shore

while waves were crashing & the sun was setting

the amber sky with hues of purples, pinks & blues

there i believed

for a moment it was real

it was....

once upon a dream

-----------------------------------

hyperspace

the stars make the sultry night seem cooler

as i lie back and lose myself

in hyperspace visions of far off places

and far away dreams

mind's imagination overcomes the physical

heat and humidity of hot summer nights

without Shakespeare's magical love

diving through the stars,

i forget myself and find

release from the oppressive night....

kim novak june 11 1999

-------------------------------------------

LIFE TIMES OF A DAY AND DAY TIMES OF LIFE

Midnight is the Conception of a Day,

and Conception, the Midnight of Life.

Dawn is the Birth of a Day,

and Birth, the Dawn of Life.

Morning is the Childhood of a Day,

and Childhood, the Morning of Life.

Noon is the Youth of a Day,

and Youth, the Noon of Life.

Afternoon is the Adulthood of a Day,

and Adulthood, the Afternoon of Life.

Evening is the Old Age of a Day,

and Old Age, the Evening of Life.

Night is the Death of a Day,

and Death, the Night of Life.

------------------------------

bad neighborhood

flowers seem to fill the lawns

while the trees provide them shelter.

little children play in the streets

beautiful as ballet.

the old couple strolling by

(woman with a mouth like a raspberry)

has had a good taste of life

and found it delightful.

kids lazy on street corners

on this hazyhot day.

i wish this were my neighbor hood

as i stare out of the car window

at this supposedly bad side of town.

----------------------------

THE CANDLE....

THE LIGHT IT GIVES PLEASURES THOSE THAT ARE NEAR,AND VIEWED BY OTHERS TRUE AND SINCERE,

IT HAS NO NAME,YET CALLED SO MANY,SUCH HURTFUL WORDS SAID "TWO A PENNY",

THAT SCAR SO DEEP,NO WORDS UNDO,THE UNKNOWING FEELING,ARE THEY TRUE?

DOGMATIC IN A SENSE STAYS STRONG,RELUCTANT TO SHOUT"THIS IS WRONG"

WHENEVER CHALLENGED, STAYS QUIET FOR PEACE,SENSING THE FURY OF ITS BEAST.

SO VERY STRONG,IT STANDS ITS GROUND,DANCING ALONG WHILE NO ONE AROUND.

ITS HEART IS WARM,SO FULL OF GLADNESS,NO ONE TO SEE THE UNRELENTING SADNESS

MAGICAL IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS,HELD BACK BY DOUBTS,WHICH CAUSE DELAYS.

ALONE IT STANDS,ONE DAY WILL BREAK,UNFORGIVING, BUT GLAD TO WAKE.

IT FLICKERS AWAY AS TIME GOES BY,ONCE BURNING SO BRIGHTLY,IT WANTS TO FLY

TO WHERE?WHO CARES,THE CERTAIN UNKNOWN,STILL LOOKING FOR PEACE,NOT YET GROWN

AND SO THIS CANDLE BURNS WITH LIGHT,ONCE SO BEAUTIFUL,STILL SO BRIGHT.

IT HAS FELT LIFE,AND STILL FEELS WHOLE,ALTHOUGH NO CANDLE,IT IS MY SOUL

--------------------------------

I walked into tomorrow's world I walked through it today..
I walked into tomorrow's world, filled with books and toys and clay..

I watched my little angels eyes as they filled with shear delight, for it seems that little boy of mine had grown up over night..

I felt his little tiny hand slowly slip away, I heard a far off little voice say "mommy you can't stay" He told me not to worry and that I could come back soon and I felt a little teary eyed as I turned to leave the room.

I suppose just for a little while I could let those teachers barrow....that little boy from yesterday that will be a man tomorrow....

------------------------------------

this word

this word leads the rhymes

that i bust all the time.

I got the feelin'

that its time to start healin',

my broken soul.

this emotion

this emotion is the reason

that that i change like seasons.

Since you left with him

i smoke away my sins,

to ease my soul.

--------------------------------

As I sleep,

voices echo

they're begging for my eyes

to open.

But I'll

ignore them,

and remain lost in

my world of dreams

and forgotten

stories.

-------------------

Watching the Toss

Yourself in itself.

Pondering the pool.

The great sky, the darkness.

Same sides of a foreign mark.

How much is it worth?

The material penniless,

the thought priceless.

To whom the wave tolls.

For yourself or their self.

Look at the mark.

Who knows.

Hands in the air in thought or confusion.

The thought is the highest side.

The pondering struggle is perhaps the clue.

To cease is to dwindle.

In depth is darkness.

Walk through the light.

The toss is life.

----------------------------

Frown did the clown with a nose so big,

"Oh, how funny he looks,

With hair made of twig,

riding along in his pink little car,

Enhanced laughter to his gig.

Said the flea, I must be on my way,

Something is wrong in my home,

I did hear them say,

With one good wash,

They'll all be dead in a day.

Up from the thunder of roar,

The mighty stalker to his prey,

The fearless lies down his head,

Challenged so often, one would say,

"To king is I, that I am,

No power stronger that of man."

Said the frog, one good leap on that Lilly bed,

Catch me, that you can not,

I'll be far ahead,

Jump as I may, a little higher today,

For they have not been fed.

©1999 Donna Pinkston

-----------------------------------

I DON'T KNOW ANY TECHNIQUES, NOR DO I HAVE EXPERIENCE WRITING POEMS

IM JUST OUT TO EXPRESS MYSELF THROUGH RHYMES AND RHYTHMS

I WRITE THIS POEM THINKING THAT IM ALONE IN THIS WORLD

NOT ALONE PHYSICALLY, BUT ALONE IN THE FACT THAT I REALIZED PEOPLE LIVE FOR

THIS WORLD, AND FORGOT THAT LIVING IS SOMETHING WHICH IS SO DEEP IT CANT BE FORETOLD

I DON'T KNOW OF THIS DEEPNESS, NOR DO I THINK I HAVE THE CAPABILITIES OF FINDING OUT

IT EAT ME UP INSIDE NOT KNOWING WHAT THIS WORLD IS ALL ABOUT

I AM NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE, NOR AM I SMARTER

I JUST WISH SOMEONE WILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME, SOMEONE TO LOVE, SOMEONE TO FIGHT WITH, SOMEONE TO SEE ME FOR WHO I TRULY AM, AND ALSO A BIT OF LAUGHTER

BUT I KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS WORLD IS ABOUT, AND I KNOW THAT IM GOING TO FIND OUT

WITH OR WITHOUT SOMEONE BY MY SIDE, I WILL KNOW OF MY WHEREABOUTS

WETHER ITS G-D, EMPTINESS, LOVE, GOOD, EVIL I WILL KNOW

FOR I REFUSE TO BE LIKE THE WORLD WHO LIVE THIS WORLD LIKE SOME COMIC SHOW

FOR ANYONE WHO READS THIS POEM, AND UNDERSTANDS MY GOAL

KNOW YOU HAVE FOUND AND UNDERSTOOD MY SOUL

NOW I CONTINUE IN THIS JOURNEY OF PEACE

AND I WILL KEEP ON GOING TILL MY SOUL WILL DECEASE

FOR MY MATCH WHOEVER IT WILL BE, I BASE LOVE ON THIS LINE

"WHAT IS LOVE? CAN THE CHILD WITHIN MY HEART RISE ABOVE" THE MEANING OF THIS IS DEEP DIVINE

IT MEANS THAT LOVE IS LIKE A CHILD, WHO EVEN A BIG UGLY FAT MOMMA, WILL BE THE CHILD'S HOPE AND INSPIRATION AND LOVE, HE LOOKS INSIDE THE MOMS HEART,

SO ITS A PLEA SAYING LET THAT CHILD INSIDE US WHO GIVES OF LAUGHTER AND INNOCENCE RISE IN OUR HEARTS AND GIVE OFF THAT TRUTH IN WHAT WE CALL LOVE, THAT LINE CAN NEVER PART

THE FUNNY THING IS THAT NOT EVEN THIS BEAUTY IS TRUE LIFE

AND IT WILL KILL ME INSIDE, AS MY SOUL IS IN CONSTANT STRIFE

I MUST ADMIT WHAT EVERYONE SAYS ABOUT POETRY IS TRUE

AND IM GLAD I CAN SHARE THESE SECRETS WITH ALL OF YOU!!!!

MY NAME IS BEN

----------------------

"HOLD FAST"

I HAVE WORDS AND THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD,

JUST BURNING TO COME OUT ON PAPER,

ALL I NEED IS THE INSPIRATION,

I'M WAITING FOR YOU TO COME ALONG,

LOST IN A DREAM WORLD,

A TRUE LITTLE DREAMER,

DREAMS ARE WE HAVE THESE DAYS,

NOT EVEN HONEST LOVE LEFT ANY MORE,

IF YOU DO FIND IT YOU ARE FORTUNATE,

SO HOLD FAST FOR I'M HERE NO MATTER WHAT,

HOLD FAST TO YOUR DREAMS,

JUST HOLD FAST AND THEY MAY COME TRUE.

-----------------------

When streets are dark.....

Hidden in Alaskan sheltered coffee nights

Liquid (warm) poured down dry throats

Thirst quenched in company of others

In lounges and bars, of restrooms

Where white powder rings the sinks

And rubbing noses, snow covered

Tracks of the night express run round

Throbbing veins and throbbing heads

Feel disco beat, beat, beat

Room spinning clean

Empty in pocket, shot up through

The soul, grasping, gasping, groaning

With cheap dressed women who see through

Dark eyes smiling as screams

Increase

Euphoria of synthesized climax from

Plastic female welcoming forms, and

Singing oooh, baby - too late blood runs red

But molten ecstasy replaces, coming

Down but still golden feeling from smudged slut mouth.

-------------------------------

Mortality

Fluorescent Gods

and jugular birth control-

life control

make me forget what my skin looks like

under the sun-

light.

And I have hollow bones like a bird (that cannot fly)

Folds of my pupa mucus glue cancer

undulating within them;

weighing me down;

Teaching me what it is to fear

Death,

Pain,

and the beautiful long red hair in the drain of my shower.

I suckle my surrogate needle mother bladder bad IV filth

life-giving nuclear waste.

Cords and tubes and malignant strands

entangle my mind;

break their radiation chains and seal my mouth.

cannot speak

cannot breathe

in the dark

by myself

Teach me to love my Lightbulb God.

--------------------------------------

THE RACE

Should the body, knowing in the race,

that death will triumph in every case,

still endeavor to delay

that final tape,

or should it embrace

it's impaired shape

and accept the inevitable

sans remorse, being satisfied with

panorama of the course?

Billy Haggin

------------------------------------------------

LIFE AT SEA

In life there's lakes and rivers

And I am given only one boat

So the destination in my life

Is to keep my raft afloat

The twists and turns and rapids

Make buoyancy a thrill

But I know I'm apt to sink my boat

If I lose my might and my will

I'm determined to sail along in life

And flow smoothly with the tide

With the changes in the wind and air

My life will be quite the ride

But if someday while being carried along

I am thrown hard off my course

I will steer and paddle to get back right

I will use all of my force

Someday the boat I sail

Will no longer carry me

And all that will remain of my vessel

Is a memory of my sea.

---------------------------------------

DREAMS

Dreams are wondrous possessions

They comfort us in the dark

They provide hope when we are lost

They give us strength when we are weak

They provide stability

Grant us courage

Supply nourishment

Give us tenacity

Dreams supply us with the power

To take life as it comes

And every now and then

The will to overcome

Dream big enough to fly

Small enough to hold

Brilliantly enough to see

Dim enough not to be blinded

Deep enough to capture your spirit

Shallow enough to let them guide you.

---------------------------------------

Love Lost

Air once filled with happy cheers,

Now filled with heartfelt tears.

Loved ones who were always there,

Now only memories to be cherished with care.

As their lives had to end,

Their souls are now starting to mend.

The question asked, "why these precious ones,"

Yet knowing that their angels had come.

A light that leads through a haven,

Yes, our loved ones are now safe in heaven.

-----------------------------------

Storm Dance

Arms reaching,

High on a hill,

A storm rages,

Feel the thrill.

Storm's full glory,

Mid night hour,

My body moves,

Aroused by power.

On my lips, taste the storm,

As lightening and earth meets,

Faster and faster on wet grass,

Spinning, dancing in bare feet.

Dancing, a flash of white,

You try not to stare,

As in wild abundance,

Comes the rain on skin laid bare.

Come with me,

Let passion ignite,

We dance, as one,

As fantasy takes flight.

----------------------------------

Women Of That Day.
.GB.

The dream for tomorrow came too early

My life has changed beyond any other misconception

A problem more then sand paper and my rights have been taken away

Men have just laughed and stayed for dominating this land

I say don't bother but I've already lost and beyond feeling bad

Protesting my soul on a security camera

A crime beyond right...

The video of my pain can not stop

Listening to the women of that day makes me say,

I tripped on the heal of my shoe and I became a joke

My husband died from choking on masculinity

And my sanity left on a train

Being called a bitch isn't so bad,

When this day in my life I died...

But don't feel sad... you'll get here soon enough...

---------------------------------

Dreamer

close your eyes

dream away

all your fears

are gone today

you cried so hared

you wept so loud

it seemed as though

your heart carried a cloud

today you smile

tomorrow you'll cry

and every day forward

you'll always ask why

memories of the past

forgotten tomorrow

memories full of torture

and sorrow

can dreams

really be

so much better

than reality

-------------------------

The morning clouds make bellies in the sky

Through the windows I can see them sag

Last night, somewhere out there

a church was burning

I cannot, though, recall where

but its smoke flavors the insides

lighting off of every surface

to add antiquity

old things have burned us

into an old movie

flickering on the thin screen

two lovers are running along the seam

between gray and blue

the point at which both above and below begin

the man is not her hero, though

and she is swept out to sea

he pounds his fists at the crack

through which he could not go

the space where he was not invited

and in his mind he sees an old movie

flickering on a screen

two lovers were running along the beach

but the morning sky was ashy gray.

------------------------------------

Shining Armor

How easily

You play Prince Charming

To a girl

Who's never been a Cinderella--

I'd probably scrape my big toe

On a broken piece

Of my own glass slipper.

-------------------------------

"See in the future"
Tenequa Sayles

Many things that we have been thought....

All of us couldn't predict our future...

But We could see in our dream of the future...

Everyday we could hardly to let go of the past...

There was awful....

Possible there was wonderful...

Maybe there was sorrow...

Some of us could see in the future...

But we turn away from it...

Because some of us are afraid...

From the past....

Many of us died young....

Before we see in the future.

-------------------------------

As I look into his eyes, I see something I've never before seen in him. I see hate, and ignorance. It scares me. His eyes are dark and clouded, like a stormy evening with wicked people dancing in their midnight bliss. He walks past me like a stone wall, and even as I grab his arm, he pulls away with such force and dislike, that I cannot react at all. Wasn't it just days before that I was taken by him, held in his arms, kissed, and been loved with such force, and such inner strength, that beads of sweat began to trickle down my forehead as his power overwhelmed me? Didn't he just show me how he needed me? He walks past me again, surely not caring as his eyes are still clouded and hateful. I cry out his name, and beg for him to stop with such emotion, that I am overwhelmed by a sensation too great for me to comprehend. How can this be? This miracle. This wonderful thing that has captured my heart, and now ripped it away from me, as though I am nothing more than a centipede with no heart and only simple thought. He has betrayed me. He has betrayed my openness and my will has been shattered as I lay here in my silence that is so far from fetal bliss it is unimaginable. Why has this happened? I can only see him from afar and dream of his touch and the sensation that once overwhelmed me. My tears mean nothing now as I lay here in a world that is not my own, or anyone else's. I am trapped in an eternal hell and here I am forced to remain.

---------------------------------------

The last time we spoke, I thought I felt it

The look in your eyes brought me back where we left it

The "It" you didn't receive, and I so wanted to believe

All I can do is wonder if it is what I think it is

A knowledge so deep, and so bittersweet, but a lie I continue to live

Everywhere I turn it's you, everything I do is with you

Every inch I move is to try to be closer to you

But you're so very far far away

And I have no way to find you

I beg you to take it away, so I won't have it to cling to

I need to hear your words, I need to look into your eyes

But all we would do is ignore it, and pretend we're not saying goodbye

Like we did the last time, and have done for ten lifetimes

And I think we'll continue, until forever separates me from you

And if we should die having not said goodbye

There's something I need you to do

Know in your heart we'll never truly part

----------------------------------------

Spit-shined Heart

I gaze longingly into my stale beer,

A smooth stream spilling into the gulf.

I sip it slowly,

And it makes me sick.

Glancing nonchalantly,

I am careful not to stare too long.

You look elsewhere

Then back again with a devilish grin.

I can't help but wonder if you see,

Or don't want to.

Maybe I don't want to either.

What would you crave,

If I could corner you,

In this bar,

In the parking lot,

In the backseat of your 1985 Cutlass Sierra?

What would I do,

If you gave it back?

------------------------------------

There's an eerie calmness in his pale white face

There's teeth embedded in our embrace

Blood spurts from an open vein in to the emptiness we call night

His eyes of fire glow like an ember dawn

And his evil transcends me away from eternal light

Blood trickles and drops one drop at a time

And with each drop I release chained up reflection of aggression from my twisted little mind

Dipping my finger into the life I've let fall to the ground

I fingerpaint blood pictures on his face of the freedom I have found

Lost in the sensuality of an open wound

He hovers above and peers down on my tomb

Lying there weak and losing sight of my own salvation

He takes from me my essence and forges his own creation

My ashen face of holy bliss

He's taken my life with his vampire's kiss

Empty veins, he's set me free

I crash into the next world so devilishly

-----------------------------------

laughter from the darkness

taunting selfish lies

whispering trees beckoning

hear their empty cries

sorrow thickens the cold air

hearing muffles screams

out of reach - reality

envisioning bad dreams

--------------------------------------

As the sunlight wanes

so does its stain

from highways where the humans thrash

leaving them under sky of ash

----------------------------------------

feeling an eternal pain

blistering my skin

fill me full of hurtful lies

from your soul of sin

cry a pool of meaningful tears

drown my aching heart

your corrupting my little world

tearing me apart

-------------------------------------------

IF I COULD HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AGAIN

AND KISS YOUR TROUBLED HEAD

ID HOLD YOU TILL THE END OF THE DAY

AND TUCK YOU SAFE IN YOUR BED

I COULD HEAR YOU LAUGHING THE OTHER DAY

AND I COULD SEE YOU AS PLAN AS DAY

I FELT YOUR PRESENCE NEAR ME BABY

EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE GONE AWAY

WE DID LAUGH AND WE CRIED

AND WE KNEW NOT TIME WOULD FLY

LIFE IT SEEMED WOULD GO ON FOREVER SOMEHOW

WISHED I KNEW WHAT I KNOW

AND DID WHAT I DIDN'T

DREAMS BRING YOU BACK TO ME NOW

-------------------------------

Star Rising in the New Dawn Light
Rosemary Winters

Star bright,

star rising,

early,

in the new dawn light.

Your brilliance,

flaring,

for an instance,

before being overpowered by the sun.

Yet, in that moment of time,

your genius,

is apparent,

never forgotten.

You will live on

in the memory

of all

who saw you.

------------------------

the voice inside is silenced

emotion takes its place

without a leash it runs - wild

unlike the voice, who sits in his chair

and overlooks the children playing with their cars

his presence strong without words

but me, i prefer the passion

the raw emotion - unattached to what's outside

like a wild horse it rides into the sunset

just like the movies

-----------------------------

my heart flutters wildly

whenever he is near.

i cannot feel this mildly

my love for him is clear.

i melt under his sweet caress

each gentle touch I feel.

and every time, no more, no less

i know his love is real.

his kiss is soft upon my skin,

his tender lips on mine

a feeling brought from deep within

our hearts will intertwine.

-----------------------------------

Oh but to seek You with life itself...

To never hunger again

Freely abandon useless dreams

Melting into You

Mouth waters

Soul rises

At Your every thought

I gorge myself on loving You

Till I am filled

Complete, anew

The greenest of meadows

The bluest sky

The briefest look in Your eye

Precious gems in You I find

You own my body, soul, spirit and mind.

----------------------------------

Time Can
April Peck

Time can heal a broken heart

And can heal those times you are apart

It can was away the memories

Of times you were together

and can fill you up with better days

That will last until forever

Time can be that sort of friend you've longed for all your life

Or the biggest storm you've ever felt killing you with all it's might

Sometimes time can keep you warm away from the winters freeze

and can keep you feeling so alive when the leaves are falling off the trees

But time can turn it's back on you making you feel alone

Time can make you feel like there's no one in the world to hold

And in the end we'll find that time doesn't matter at all

It all depends on if you walk, sit, stand, or even if you fall.

----------------------------

LIFE'S FUNNY FEELINGS
ZACH ELBRINK

The smell of rain

the silence of pain

tearing flesh

limb from limb

the sound of bones that break and bend

in an essence the very thought

a most horrifying experience ever fought

your world falls from 10 stories high

and all you know is your gowing to die

but why do we fight we know we will

we are born to die to and fight we still

is there a god,a heaven a hell.

this is what i thought before my angel fell

my angel means more to me

than dying will ever be.

she fell to the earth like a savior to me

the sparkle in her eye is all i could see

the tingle in the kiss and the sudden bliss

all my pain went away

and i wanted to live for another day (i love you baby)

-----------------------------

A Growing Love

A growing love that never ends,

Though lives themselves may die,

We'll always be forever friends,

As you watch me from the sky.

I tell you all about my day,

As I lay me down to sleep,

I know you hear the things I say,

And wipe the tears I weep.

When I see a pretty flower,

Or your favorite shade of blue,

No matter what the hour,

My thoughts are still on you.

I think about you all the time,

I know you read my mind,

Now as I write this little rhyme,

You see my thoughts are kind.

I know you know I love you,

I know you know I care,

Someday I'll be in Heaven too,

----------------------------------------

FAITH

The day has darken

and the light is gone.

The cycle of life

continues to go on.

Though some may fear

this time of black,

I believe that

the sun will be back.

Through these times

of grief and sorrow,

I use my faith

to guide me to tomorrow.

--------------------------

EVERY DAY.

Every day,

Tempers flare.

Threats are hurled.

Every day,

Bombs explode.

Buildings crumble.

Ever day,

Shoots are fired.

Bodies fall.

Every day,

Someone

Somewhere

Suffers.

~ John Foster

---------------------------------------

A Worship Poem Of The Moon

Oh moon,

Sweet moon!,

Like lilies in bloom,

Beauteous peace,

My longing for you will never cease,

Every night you shine,

Just like the Rhine,

And you'll always be mine.

(This is my own work, some evil person though calling themselves

Aphrodite Pila has stolen it so if you know of that person's whereabouts

or any similar thing to help me, I would greatly appreciate it, thank you -

Karessa (Aka: Kara Ann Vortex) (email me at isenblet@earthlink.net)

--------------------------------------

Reborn

Sometimes it's my life I cannot take, having the habit

of making mistakes, having realized something's wrong

until it's too late. I can't turn back it's too hard

a path, everything was so simple, but then I had a new

realization, all the pain comes from the past.

I was used, given no choice, I spoke up, but noone heard my voice.

I live life in regret of those years if only it we're different,

it would have stopped these fears.

Getting too close, sharing too much, opening up,

feeling a meaningful touch. I'm too afraid,

I can't seem to let go or move on, though

I want to my hearts bruised, burdened, and clogged.

The courage is in me and it has to be shown for

my true feelings to let go and have my life reborn.

By Jessi Brunelle

---------------------------------

This is a poem about my grief
Aboard the S.S. Coral Reef

It was a ship, so godly and grand

Until it was run up onto the sand

The liner's captain and his first mate

That night had stayed up far too late

They laughed and danced and drank and such

Until they had drunk far too much

A siren screams, a whistle sounds

The ship approached enemy grounds

We hit a rock, the barge was sunk

Just because, the man was drunk

Now everybody's dead

----------------------------------------

She gave her heart

for those to break,

With tears

she'll forever wake.

Can't climb the walls

she built,

Never again

will she feel the guilt.

She'll drop your heart

and watch it shatter,

Catch your dreams

and make them scatter.

She believes in

the repeated lies,

Just see the nothingness

glisten in her eyes.

Too many times

has she been burned,

No longer will she wait

for her love to be returned.

--------------------------------------

The colors of the Rainbow

White as love

Black as hate

Red as blood

Gray as sin

Who is to begin

Only I will know as to who wins

Who sins and who does not sin

One will win

One will lose

Which one will you be

By: Steve Cress

Goessel Kansas

-----------------------------------

NEVER AGAIN

WILL I SEE MY FRIEND

SUCH A PRETTY FACE

AT THE WRONG TIME

IN THE WRONG PLACE

TO HER GRAVE I RACE

I COVER MY FACE

NEVER AGAIN

WILL I SEE MY FRIEND

WE PROMISED TO BE THERE TO THE END

NEVER AGAIN

WILL I COMFORT HER TEARS

ONLY CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP

COVERING MY EARS

NEVER AGAIN

WILL I SEE MY FRIEND

ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING HANDED TO ME

HOW COULD THIS EVER POSSIBLY BE

NEVER AGAIN

CAN, MAY, OR WILL I SEE MY FRIEND

S.R.S.

---------------------------

~ Timothy ~

I had a friend his name was Tim

I played and Laid in the sun with him

We walked through the woods and played checkers all day

My life was every thing to me

As peaceful and perfect as can be

Then i moved away from Tim

Not knowing i would never see him

Then i found all around

Were signs telling me i would never see

Timothy again

-----------------------------------

It's been a year now,

Since that terrible day,

When that night of the car crash,

That took my friend's life away.

We weren't very close,

But still we talked.

We were in some classes together,

And hung out a lot.

I still remember that day,

When my friend told me about the crash.

I was shock and sad,

I felt like my heart tore in half.

Even though it's been a year,

I still get sad and blue.

I just want my friend to know,

Sky, I miss you.

-------------------------------------------

Cant you see?

I feel the pain in my heart

But I cant imagine where to start.

Between my parents, guys and my friends,

It seems the disappointment never ends.

I love everyone so dear

But I enter situations with constant fear.

I cry myself to sleep every night,

all I need is someone to tell me it'll be alright.

I want someone to hold me close, hold me near,

I want to feel it without the fear.

I want my prayers to be answered. I want someone to tell me why?

Why does the pain not go away as I continue to cry?

Tired of love, tired of pain

Tired of both because they are driving me insane.

How should I feel?

How should I hide my heart so no one can steal?

Steal my thoughts steal my heart

Steal from my body each and every part.

One day i hope someone will see

And say how much they truly love me.

----------------------------------

To Sarah

When I think of you my dear

There's lots of things I see and hear.

My heart is full of hopes and dreams

With thoughts of you and me it seems.

You could be my little rose.

With lots of love that always grows.

I promise that's all I would do

'Cause all I think about it you.

You don't know all that I feel

I hope you know that it's all real.

Most every night I dream of you

And all the things that we could do.

Listen to these words I say

For I will be with you some day.

My heart is opened up for you

As long as the sky above is blue.

-------------------------------------------

"A Love So Strong"

When love is so strong you are blind

You are blind to the world around you

You are blind to everything that should be bringing you down

When love is so strong you are unselfish

You are unselfish to the one you care about

You believe that her happiness will live inside of you

When love is so strong you know she's the one

You want to know where she is every second, you're not around

You know it's not because of the lack of trust, for she's your love so strong

When love is so strong you are sick

You want to do so much it hurts

You drive yourself crazy, thinking of the ways to make her smile

When love is so strong you try so hard

You try so hard you feel helpless that there is no more you can do for that day

You believe the more you try, the more love you will receive

When love is so strong you are blessed

You are blessed because in your heart, you found the one

You are blessed you and her will become one

When love is so strong you are blessed

---------------------------------

Two Tragedies
Debbie Harris

They called her beautiful

And so she acted

As if beauty was her name

But ugliness was hers.

They called her ugly.

And so she acted

As if ugliness was her name

------------------------------------

Dogs

His was a giving dog

His was a taking dog

I think I've seen dogs from

both sides now.

---------------------------------

2day

try 2

keep your eyes

open

change comes

quite

quickly

never ever

blink

or

you just might

forever

go 2

sleep.

-----------------

6-10-99

You must be in Nirvana

If ignorance is bliss

Its crazy how you cannot sense

That something is amiss

I care for you and what I say

should matter just a bit

You tell me why you want this

and think ill just stay and sit

Am I the only sane one here

Am I the only brain?

You tell me I'm annoying

and on me you put the blame

What, you think ill say to you

That one time is all right?

But once is how your death attacks

and quickly takes its blight

the end is near for these few words

the end is near for you

the end will quickly come in red

and leave your world in blue

-----------------------------------

The Depths of Misery
K.M. Barnette

Misery comes in all shapes, forms and fashions, in death and in birth.

She will appear anywhere, without a trace, in a moments time.

The power she possess is greater than all the forces of the earth.

She leaves her mark of darkness when she's at her prime.

The damage that is left behind wounds the breath of life.

Intuition speaks to you in silent voices as you prepare to cope.

A calumnious beam shadows what once was known as true.

Consumed and exhilarated, grasping, searching for hope...

----------------------------------------

Memories

As I sit here and lie on this hospital bed,

I try to forget that the end is ahead.

I try to think of good things instead,

and past memories fill my head.

It's hard to forget about all the good and the bad,

although both things make me equally sad.

Along with the bad I'm filled with regret,

and what is good I try not to forget.

I want to go out and dance, and spin,

I want to sing a song again.

I want back the missing half,

I want to shout, I want to laugh

Dear God, please let me stay,

I don't want to die this way.

At least let peace fill my head,

As I sit here and lie on this hospital bed.

----------------------------------

Struggle

Meeting you was Joy in my life.

We struggled to keep in touch,

but we always managed.

You are different from others.

It's kinda like you put a spell on me,

and it's kept me drawn to you!

Feelings, are something I can't explain.

Their like the weather,

unpredictable.

I'm hoping to sit and resolve all confusion.

When in fact this happens,

we can move onto happiness together.

---------------------

My Friend

I destroy life not people

Not meant to harm you

I become your friend

Our minds become one

And we love each other like brothers

Till we stop thinking

Do something stupid

And something stupid

And lose each other

I miss you my friend

but can't see you

I feel for you

but can't help you

An although it hurts so bad

now I will leave you.

----------------------------

little crush

She's gone for now

Although I wonder

If her words

Were something other

I'd hasten gather

a kneel before her

If she'd call me

over towards her

She told me once

That she would marry

Me! and no one other

But now I wonder

If this was other

Than a sweet surrender

Of all the things

She didn't need.

------------------------------------------

Extinguished

Why didn't you fall in love with me,

the way I fell for you.

Why were my kisses not enough,

to keep me close to you.

Why didn't the stars light up your eyes,

the way they lighted mine.

Why didn't you hear my heart beating,

as we shared one space and time.

Why didsn't you hold me in your arms,

and pull me close to you.

What was it I didn't say,

What was it I didn't do.

Why didn't you look into my soul,

and see how much I cared.

Why did you say you loved me,

if when I look you're not there.

Why did you turn and walk away,

when we both burned with desire.

Why did you come into my life,

to extinguish my heart's fire.

--------------------------

Together?
Elizabeth R. McConnell

Quite days

Of endless compliance

Never free

From the shell

That holds me together

So I won't shatter

But maybe I need to

In order

To feel

Unchained.

--------------------------

Eyes

Dark deep blue

Hollow tunnels

Pierce

Into mine

Just reaching out a needle

And cutting through

Not letting free

Of their embrace

For they take me inside

And don't want to

Let me out

--------------------------

Golden Enchantress in a field of blue; gave the gift of love to me. She kissed my eyes with a north bound wind; and bathed my body in an eastern sea. With a caress as soft as a moonlit night, she smoothed my tussah robe. And in her smile is saw the sun shine bright and I became whole. The flash of lightning that shone in her eyes, gave me a strength that I had yet to see. And the chorus of angels that sang in her voice gave me the power to believe. I felt I had it all that faithful day, but she said I have one last thing to give; a wisdom to enhance the things that I have given you to live. For the first time I have a love that has proven to be true. A love of myself given to me by a Golden Enchantress in a field of blue.

----------------------------

FINAL PEACE

Dark eyes watch and wonder,

A pale face shivers and cries.

Her eyes fill with horror,

The life that was hers is no more

The family she loved so, mourns.

She is gone her life is lost.

Now she watches from above,

Her heart alive and full of love.

Her soul is sweet and smells like flowers

She is finally at peace.

BY.SARAH

----------------------------------

Aaron
By: Shawna Dite

The first day we met I know you cared for me,

but I only thought of another and you set my love free.

We became best friends but our love has changed,

I to you a sister, but now I want you not the same.

I long to feel your touch, your lips, your breath,

must I wait for you, until my death?

I feel such a fool,

for letting you slip through, but at the moment,

there is nothing I can do.

You are my best friend and I love you so,

I must think if we dated, then broke up, would our friendship go?

I cannot think of the day, when we should part,

because your friendship and love is glued to my heart.

This is for my Best Friend in the whole wide world A.M. Even though we do not feel for each other the same. . .I will forever wait for his love, through eternity.

-----------------------------------

"carrying you with me"

come with me and listen to the night,

as we walk the beaches and the waves

wash away the footprints of time,

only one set of footprints ;

me carrying you only the night holds

the secrets of love.

come be my angel,

let me shelter you from all harm and take you in

the world of peace and love,

to be the only ones left on this planet and

start a new generation;

as we walk to the light we live in peace and harmony.

i want to cherish you like a diamond,

you will bring new hope in our lives,

as i feel what was once un-reachable;

you fill my heart with love.

may our two souls bond today and tomorrow

beneath the sunset,

may our two soul enlighten each other

through what destiny now calls,

two angel to meet un the stars and to

dance under the moon;

as our shadows block the light there shall we gain

our wings two of gods children sharing their love together.

good night love for that i must go,

you know me by soul that are souls are one,

close your eyes and enjoy the vision;

here look inside for you and i will be their.

my soul will never leave you,

i'm there,

just reach inside;

and you will find me.

thou i shall carry you from all harm ,

feel the warmth around your body like a summer breeze,

now i must leave;

i will carry your heart with me.

------------------------------------

Time

I am trapped inside an hourglass,

Where every second is measured,

By a grain of sand,

And at my present immobilized state,

The steady stream of seconds,

Is eternity,

Which engulfs my body,

In spent moments and unfelt embraces,

Until I am immersed

------------------------------

I was happy for a moment

spinning carelessly and free

I fell out of heaven quickly

and was thrown into the sea

My soul was his final resting place

my heart is where he'd scar

If I knew then how hard I'd weep

I would not have let it go this far.

He hurt me like no one before

He treaded on the sacred ground

he pushed me under raging rapids

I never thought I'd really drown.

The hard part is the brushing off

and putting on the phony smile

all I have to show for this

I was happy for a little while.

-----------------------------------------

~*~ The Dream of my Heart ~*~

When I first laid eyes upon him, it was as though my soul wept.

Feelings that were unknown to me flooded my body.

I was scared to feel something for him.

I kept my boundaries up, making sure he couldn't get through.

But when he laid his hand softly upon mine,

That first boundary was shattered.

I looked in his mesmerizing eyes and I was lost in a world of peacefulness and love.

I feared getting kicked out of this world, it made me happy.

When I first kissed his soft lips, thrills coursed through my skin and into my heart.

That moment, my second barrier broke into a million fragments that swept through my body in shocking realization, I was letting him in.

I was scared to touch this Man that knew just what I wanted, the man that was breaking my barriers to my heart.

Was it right to keep him out?

Like many others, I fear the pain and problems that come with letting people get to close to your heart, but then I realized that it was just a petty reason and I should think about all the good that it brings with loving someone.

And then as I looked at him from afar,

I knew I was losing him.

This man that once created a world that gave peace to me is walking down the road.

Not towards my open arms, but he was walking away, to the arms of another.

Pain filled my body as tears fell down my cheeks

I had hurt his soul as well as his heart.

Something I gave my word never to do in my life.

I though back to his gentle touch, his wonderful world that I saw when I looked into his beautiful eyes.

And I wept........not out of pain.....but out of love.

I came to know him in self, something I will cherish deeply for all eternity.

I will always remember his thoughts and feelings that were passed between us.

For a few moments in my life,

I felt safe......I felt love.

Those feelings that I was so afraid to show,

have been exposed.

Something so rare for me to do... has been done.

And now I stand there alone,

With my feelings exposed to the world.

Watching the man I warmed too walk down the path of life,

and I close my eyes as I feel the tears make there way down my cheeks to the ground.

I turn away from him and walk the opposite way.

Hoping to God I feel his touch ..stopping me.

And having him look into my eyes and presses his lips to mine,

Making me return to the world where pain ceases to exist.

But the hand never came.

I keep walking.

Realizing that it was only a dream to ask such things,

A dream I would wish to end

~ Dedicated to R. B. with all my love in the world ~

---------------------------------

Not To Be So
John Vales

dedicated to evelyn

The times we laughed, the times we cried.

Missing you so much, a part of me has died.

How I tried not to let you go.

But our love was not to be so.

You have touched me so deep, I can't explain.

But I know our love can never be the same.

Cause distance and time has torn us apart

And I feel there is no room left for me in your heart.

Apart of that love I hope will always remain

And maybe some day, A spark will trigger a flame.

---------------------------------

destiny

i know that i have seen him before

i know that o have felt him before

i know that i shall calm his soul by putting my hand near his heart

in his footsteps shall i follow and from his actions shall i learn

that he is the epitome of purity of the mind body and soul

for him i would cry and swallow my pride and in return only a smile would be required

i have found something righteous in this place which is unknown tome

my soul is at rest for i have found my destiny

----------------------------------------------

i shall pour my soul out to rise again

i shall clear the dust from the path to walk again

i shall remain calm and clear in times of laceration

and i shall remain detached from the rapture that remains

for every teardrop that shall fall and for every word left voiceless

so shall thoughts, dreams and visions always remain hidden

i have tried to open my portal for those to watch and adore

but to no avail once again

i seem to die before i am born

----------------------------------

today begins

tomorrow never comes

hungry torment torn in two

lushes praise of never mind is what brought him to you

uninvite death and company

and realize that forgiveness saves

remember that we love others because of their passifying imperfections

tears before

tears after

bitter sweet me

memories die as all things do

let thy venom run through me

for there is nothing if nothing is

condemned for now

that's all he knew how

today is done

tomorrow never comes

hungry torment torn in two

--------------------------------------

ABUSE THEE AMUSED

The Chains had peeled the dirt off the surface of his flesh,

With this known as the thin line of carnage.

A dehumanization of mass proportions,

Sliced brows for rotting fingers,

He perfumed the presence of gangrene,

In resemblance to an awful misfortune,

He dared not misbehave, for death was never a question.

Never had they even remotely hinted at an end to this torture.

They had to implant a sense of conditioning within him,

Just so he would never forget,

That fear that they had created within him.

Enslaved in chains and blood, He lay wounded upon the stone

Forced into seclusion he felt nothing for once, the silence itself was a privilege,

Unaware of his abandonment, he stays motionless,

As he neglects any temptation to survey his surroundings,

Conditioned and cloned not to care.

-------------------------------

The Dark Side

The dark side

the place where I go to hide,

to be free from the burdens of life.

To be given the chance to be unchained from strife.

I close my eyes and I am there.

I have not to sleep

and to you this gift I share.

I'm the blanket that covers the earth.

I am the night.

I can be any form, I am a shadow

unseen in flight.

I change to darkness in your heart.

The cold thoughts you hide I create as art.

I am no longer the person that came to this place to hide.

I am now a part of the dark side.

Here I will stay to be forever free,

and now the others must come to me!

BY: Jeremiah J Myers

----------------------------------------

"Broken"

I don't need any social interaction

Don't need anyone else to survive

I belong to myself, only myself

I'm not dead but then I'm not really alive

I want to shut everything out

Push everyone away

Slip back into my own little world

Where I know the skies are always gray

I wont depend on anyone

Can't let anyone break through

Nothing can make me feel

I refuse to conform to you

I wont cry out for help

Don't need your false sympathy

So stop feeding me these lies

And stay away from me

I can see you clear in my mind

You want to get inside of me

Your sorting through these thoughts

All you want is to break me

You can't have me

I'm already yours

Won't let your sin come into me

I am so impure

------------------------------

Trapped in the walls of your own insecurity

Glaring eyes never seem to blink from their constant

watch over you

Please don't let your suicide blood drip on our clean

floors

I never loved you

Bleed into me

onto me

Away from me

Take your fair maiden away from this beast,

This beast known as you

You with your aching teeth waiting to feed

All I did was laugh inside while you

struggled in the prison you made yourself

You pretend to be an angel

Funny,

How Satan has the most clever disguise

Bleed into me

onto to me

away from me

I never loved you

----------------------------------------

22 REASONS TO LIVE:

A stranger you havn't met

A wad of money you havn't bet

A heart you havn't touched

A love you nver loved as much

A block you havn't walked

A talk you havn't talked

A place you've never been

A hand you havn't lend

A kiss you havn't felt

A problem you havn't dealt

A friend you havn't made

A flower you never gave

A tear you havn't dried

A smile you havn't smiled

A scar you havn't polished

A bad memory you havn't demolished

An idea you havn't pondered

A scene you havn't wandered

A call you havn't received

A parent you havn't relived

A gift you havn't given

A life you havn't lived in.

----------------------------------

YOUR TOUCH

Your touch, can't live without it...Your touch, you never need to doubt it.

The feel of your hands on my skin makes me shudder. Like no other lover you move me deep inside.

Taking me to a place where I can't hide what I feel for you so much....How bad I need your touch.

No one else could touch me so deep; your breath on my skin so sweet. I want you so much I can't think.

Your love captivates me; your touch incapacitates me. Your touch, can't live without it. Your touch...never, ever doubt it.

JANET S. OSBORNE

---------------------

Together we once laid on the grass

with arms wrapped around each other

and legs that resembled those sweet twizzlers candy.

Oh how we wished for time to stop

so that we could be together forever

under the moonlight, while the wind blew through our hair

but deep in our hearts we both knew it wouldnt last.

This fairy tale was destined to come to an end,

Leaving me here with pictures of you

Holding me like putty in your hands

making me yours and fulfilling your wishes.

Then you left me at the rise of dawn.

You kissed the night away, whispering sweet goodbyes

leaving me like a fool, waiting for your return

anxiously wanting to taste you again

and singing a song to the sun of the night

when you became me, and i became you.

----------------------------------------

I was there...

I was there for you...

I was there when you were happy

I was there when you were laughing

I was there when you were dancing.

I was there for you...

I was there when you were sad

I was there when you were crying

i was there when you felt like dying.

I was there for you...

I was there when you were mad

i was there when you were bad

I was there when you where screaming.

I was there for you...

I was there when you were all alone

I was there when you were bruised

I was there when you were hurting.

I was there for you...

Dede, Odessa, tx. Peace

-----------------------------------------

Shade

Shade descends on the inevitable truth.

Hope, so vague yet so clear, put to rest.

The pain of losing, strains the mind, but hinders the soul

preparing it for the heartache and anxiety that lies ahead.

Our tears are so passionate that keeping them from plummeting

is like keeping the heart from loving.

One after another they devour the skin, living off mistakes and striving

for more so they can continue to multiply and release themselves upon us.

These tears are rain falling at the worst time possible,

as we are unprepared and unwilling to want to donate to their existence,

but we have no choice,

the unwelcome is eager to stay, knowing that the hospitality of ourselves

is far too strong to turn away or fight.

So we continue to sit endless hours in the shade of inevitable truth,

beat down by reckless hearts and careless souls.

-------------------------------

happiest ever and let my wit be low

for my existence is low

as is yours my dear father

dear mother

i hate you in my fear

you i may become

your life i may lead

and this i fear

and existence i will not have

i fear

in my happiest ever

lowest wit

this i do fear.

-----------------

In the spring leaves and grass are green and tender,good intentions run rampant. in the summer they grow they mature.They spread joy and wipe away your tears. in the fall age shows upon them, temperments degrade,anger rears it's ugly head,but impressions of a younger age remain. In the dreary winter anger and depression often rule the day,chasing younger dreams away.Sometimes the tears return,faith and trust are Immortalized. Fear dies,self-belief returns and the cycle starts once more. D.Talley

------------------------------

THE POET

I know how people act and feel

What I see I put on paper

I know why people do what they do

What I discover I put on paper

I know why a desperate mother cries

when her newly born baby dies

I know when a man loses will

and bursts out with a motive to kill

Oh, these painful things I put on paper

I know life and I know all

that is why I am beginning to fall

I am becoming empty and depleted

these last lines cannot be completed

Life has nothing new for me

I must face my true destiny

Come and see what I have done

My own death I put on paper

--------------------------------------

The Stars Above

The sweet perfume of love,

surrounds my shattered soul.

It begins to mend the cracks,

put there by a love gone hard and cold.

Opposing forces are fought,

by a new love warm and true.

We stare into the midnight stars above,

all that I want to see is you.

Embracing you so tightly,

scared that you might leave me too.

I close my eyes and wonder,

what would I ever do without you.

--------------------------------------

Queen of My Castle

I'm the queen of my castle.

What I say goes.

How I gain my prosperity,

Nobody knows.

My ways are mysterious,

And for this I'm envied.

My choices are wise,

Since my mind has been freed.

I'm rising to the occasion

Of living for me.

No longer will I be labeled as property.

My spirit is independent,

And it shows.

I'm the queen of my castle,

What I say goes.

---------------------------------

This means to much,

I'm sure you see.

Do you?

You've got the power,

now where's your will?

I'm standing on the track

looking at the ties.

They're cracked and lay broken,

kinda like me.

I feel as if I could be a railroad tie,

just lie down and let the train roll.

I did the same for you I laid down,

and look what happened there.

I shoulda stuck with the train,

powerful but stoppable.

Now the train whistles as a warning,

to bad only the dogs can hear it,

did you warn me too?

-----------------------------------------

Why

Why must we feel so threatened by another persons touch?? But then why is it that we love them so very much?? And why is it that when I sleep I start to think of her. And how beautiful she really was and oh how i didn't deserve.

To feel her lips touch my soul. To watch her eyes look at mine. To feel her hands touch my palms and move up and down my spine. And why is it when I'm out at night that I feel so all alone?? But yet i feel at peace when i am sitting at home. And why are the stars so very far away? And why does today seem like yesterday? And why do tears fall from the most beautiful of faces? Are they meant to be cursed by their past kisses and embraces? No answers I will find from these questions will I? I am meant to find my own path and make up my own mind. Traveling through a world that is so undiscovered. To a man like me who is oh so sheltered. But has seen so much. In a persons touch. And wants to face another persons embrace. But tears are what i face. Such a waste.

jonathan spohn

--------------------------

A poem for Derek

In my head I speak

I shall shed no tears

For I know you are only asleep

Although you will not respond

When I call your name

I know one day

Together we will remain

Through the golden gates

Of celestial light

Awaits a cozy bed for you to lie

Now is your time to shine down on us all

We will be waiting

When the angels call

---------------------------

Sweet sin

engulfs me

as your hands

find their way into me

I give

everything

to a dream

I cannot possess

Tomorrow

you'll go

and I'll

sleep with fire

between my thighs

praying

that you

will come to me again

This was written one morning too late.

---------------------------------------------

WINGS OF A DOVE
By: Brista

They say love is in the air

But i can't feel it there

All i feel is pain

I must be insane

To believe in love

Like the wings of a dove

It seems to fly away

as thought never meant to stay

------------------------------------

MORPHINE PARADISE

"soft velvet lips,

why velvet?"

peaches and creame lace the breath,

it induces an alternate reality with sky high monkey-creatures that laugh and

play (in their own simian way) along the tree tops,

singing songs of dancing girls and of paradise

happy thoughts,

happy the man: he circles the tree tops laughing,

carrying on and on about dancing girls and paradise

he grabs a monkey-creature and twirls it around and around,

through the tree tops and happy thoughts: into the dancing girls and paradise

"soft velvet lips,

why velvet lips,

why not?"

----------------------------------

Tears of Love, Joy, or Hate?

As I drown in a flood of my own tears,

I think of what we could have had together.

Each tear is a moment we could have shared.

The tears role down my face and drop one

by one onto the wet floor. Somehow, this

reminds me of the sound your heart while

it beat so close to mine. Never again

will I be happy; neveragain will I feel

loved. Maybe I could have survived; but

you broke me completely when you laughed

in my face. It might be stupid but I don't

blame you. I gave my love to someone

I never knew. You will always have a

place inside me. Next to my broken

dreams, in my broken heart. Neither

of which will ever be whole again.

-----------------------------------------

Close your eyes, count to three.

Open your mind and let your thoughts flee. Make a wish and wish of me. Make a wish and set it free. Now keep your eyes

closed and think of a kiss. Feel the cool breeze rush against your lips. The feeling you can not miss. The angels above have heard

your cries for love. With a tear in there hearts and you in mind, they created a love that no other could ever find. Now they look

at us and see just how happy two lovers can be. Now open your eyes and thank the angels for something so wonderful and

sweet. And for a love that will never be beat.

-------------------------------

Morning Child Dreams Along the Beach
(Pastetears)

Gently walking along the vacant beach

The tides ripple in fresh-gusts of morning winds

T'was a day ungrown below the suns breath-takin setting

My bare toes comb the cool sands-

Between the shells and corals that lace the shore-

Stars in their own right trying to imitate the sky

Sand dunes surround me in my mystery

My eyes always seek to be satisfied

They gaze far across the sea

Searching for a perfect land it cannot see.

For now I'm content making sand castles.

Time reflects the orange light off my green eyes

Yes, i daydream following the lights upward flight.

Coating the clouds, purple pink mystically...

Their I wish to rest and play

Making cloud castles below celestial rays.

(c)joshj.oliveira99

all rights reserved

---------------------------

The Test

As I traveled through the snow,

Warm and fully dressed

I saw a man on the side of the road,

He seemed lonely and alone, and utterly depressed.

His clothes were merely rags,

Behind him was a box,

I assumed it was his house and,

To say the least I was in shock.

I had never seen a man,

So horribly set for life,

I couldn't help but wonder,

If he ever had a wife,

He had a cup that was set at his feet,

He had a sign that he wrote all by himself,

On it was written "Please my friends, be kind to me,

And please share with me your wealth."

The poster nearly broke my heart,

A tear gathered in my eye,

I couldn't understand what happened,

I simply wondered, Why?

Why would God inflict this on someone,

Did he have a greater plan?

I began to think that it was a test

Of how I would treat my fellow man.

I could leave that man in the snow to die,

But there was no way I could do that,

So I invited him back to my house,

And gave him a pat on the back.

I said,

"Good sir, you can have all you want to eat,

You can sleep in my room, and tell stories to me."

The Old man simply smiled, and all he did was shrug,

But then his smile grew wider, as he stood, and gave me a hug.

He said,

"Young man you have been so nice to me,

And all I've done for you is sit here in misery,

I don't understand where you can find such kindness,

To invite me in your home, even despite my blindness,

You see my friend, life has chewed me up,

And then it spit me out,

I've been on the streets since I was ten,

My clothes are tattered and worn out,

I simply can not begin to understand,

Why you would be so kind, and nice,

And offer me food, and warmth,

And a place to spend the night."

To this long and emotional speech,

I looked him in the eye and said,

Never stop believing,

And then onward home I led.

--------------------------------------------

Why do we break the surface when the surface was so clean,

why did we pour our hearts into its silver stream?

it buried all our secrets showed us we could dream,

then the surface rippled outward 'cause it followed its own scheme.

Now the surface is a window into our only room,

a room full of surprises and chock full of doom.

So the surface has a purpose to hide all we can stow,

and to the former memories we have to let them go.

--------------------------------------------

Parasol People
Rosemary Winters

Red, yellow, blue and green parasols

poke up under embedded palms.

Their bright colors a contrast,

to the monochromatic beauty of the palms.

Under the parasols

are people

chatting in intimacy

drinking java.

The hues of their attire are many,

bringing a sense of chaos

to the order of this setting.

Disorder from tints of nature.

Their thoughts as varied

as the rainbow,

of their own little world.

A private world under a parasol.

Filled with laughter and

shared conversation,

a place reflecting their feelings.

-------------------------------

Sinking to a better low,

Without any fear

Of my own imagination,

Slapped by the reality of your absence.

From the first sounds

I was paralyzed for you.

And I'll never question why

If happiness falls my way again

It was not my intention,

To become so dependent

And fixed upon the light

Too beautiful to be called your eyes.

Surrounded for only brief moments,

I could have lingered till

My last breath of existence,

Sailed away on your music.

The art of your friendship

Is not in love's perfection,

But lives in the beautiful colors

Of luminescent you.

Copyrighted 1999 Matthew Crawford

-----------------------------------------

GOD IS?

What is God? Who is God?

What, you don't know?

Do I know?

Am I making any sense? Since I know there is a God

I pinch myself for asking if not,

there is a God. Hence, His rod and staff

they comfort me still and I yield before Him

to prepare for my bath.

So is there a God? You ask.

You're living aren't you.

You're breathing air.

you're leaving there

to get to there.

here and here

where and where,

is God?

He is in you. And all around you.

Time to find Him because He already found you.

He is spirit. Believe in Him.

You may not see Him, but you'll know He's there.

------------------------

Cry No Tears

Cry no tears and waste no sighs

nor touch my cold hand with sadness.

Befall not near my casket side.

Only say farewell with gladness.

Cry for thy self with grievous heart,

kneel and pray for your own soul.

For tears I need not because I part,

but delight in my new life, new role.

Grieve not for me with heavy emotions.

Say good-bye with loving devotions.

Remember happy was I on earth with thee

but happiest am I with my Father and me.

Within my heart I take with me

my trust in God and love of thee.

So rejoice, I say to you my friend

because for me this is life and not the end.

----------------------------------------

PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THE PHENOMENON OF LOVE, ITS BEAUTY AND GREATNESS

THE PROBLEM IS WE LOVE THE WRONG THINGS, AND WE BELIEVE IN WHAT WE ARE TAUGHT, ITS TIME WE BECOME FAMILIARIZED WITH A WORD THAT WE CERTAINLY LACK, BOLDNESS

WE LOVE OUR HOUSE, OUR CDs, OUR SONGS, OUR ROOMS, OUR NINTENDO SYSTEMS, AND A NICE STEAMY SEDUCTIVE KISS,

YET WE DON'T LOVE LIFE, MANY DON'T LOVE THEIR PARENTS, THE WORLD, SOME EVEN THEIR WIVES, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY OTHERS AND OURSELVES, AND EVEN SPIRITUAL BLISS

THE WORD LOVE IS DEFINED AS INTENSE AFFECTION, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE SO

I THINK LOVE IS SIMPLY A WORD THAT HAS NO REAL MEANING, THIS PORTRAIT OF A WORD IS DEFINING UNEXPLAINABLE THINGS, ANYONE WHO THINKS HE CAN DEFINE LOVE, IS VERY VERY SHALLOW

YET I SHOULDN'T SAY THAT BECAUSE ITS NOT ANYONE'S FAULT

BECAUSE WE ALL LACK THAT WORD,,, WHICH IS CALLED BOLDNESS, FOR TO LOVE IS A GIFT, WHICH HAS BEEN MISUSED, MISHANDLED, AND MISUNDERSTOOD, ITS BEEN FLIPPED OVER LIKE A SOMERSAULT

SO THINK TWICE NEXT TIME U SAY THE WORDS LOVE IN ANY MATTER

--------------------

(This is in response to the judgmental comment at the end of the first

week of June 1999.)

CREATIVITY IS...

Writing what one feels when he/she feels it;

Learning from an experience and then being able to write about it;

Expressive;

Something with no specific structure--commas can go anywhere;

Something with no specific vocabulary--if "ho" and "bitch" are needed for

someone to express him/herself, so be it;

Wanting to share your feelings;

Writing like we are in high school--a majority of us are still there;

Me;

Anyone who wrote anything;

Different for everyone;

Not to be judged or criticized.

--Meri Q

Page Copyright © AHA Books 1999.
Poems Copyright © Designated Authors 1999.

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